"I Can Has Doctor?" by Troy H. Cheek on Jul 14, 2008
I know you'll think that I've told you this story before, but I swear this happened just the other day.
In years past, after considerable difficulty, I finally got a primary care physician, to whom I shall refer as Doctor A. Good old Doctor A kept me alive for many years. However, Doctor A moved to a new facility. I was assured by the nice lady who handles such things that although Doctor A was moving he could still be my primary care physician.
Then I actually attempted to use Doctor A for my primary care physician and my insurance wanted to charge me extra for using an out of network healthcare provider. This really surprised the nice lady who handles such things. She assured me that this was not the case.
A few weeks later, I got a letter from the nice lady announcing that Doctor A was now covered by my insurance. Of course, a quick call to the insurance company to make Doctor A my primary care doctor met with a denial that he was even in the system.
I was eventually able to find Doctor B. He was definitely in the system. Well, some other doctor who worked out of the same office but retired some years ago was in the system, and Doctor B was still using his old identification number. Doctor B accepted me as a new patient and all was well.
Doctor B moved to a new office, which was ironic (or something) because it was Doctor A's old office back when he was partnered with Mrs Doctor B. At least I knew how to find the new office.
I started seeing Doctor B around the hospital more often. I found out that this was because he was now working for the hospital as a hospitalatician, or whatever it is they call doctors who act as doctors for people who don't have doctors and they need to be admitted to a hospital. This worried me, as I was under the impression such hospitalitons didn't have private practices. However, I was assured that Doctor B was not giving up his private practice.
A few weeks later, I received a letter telling me that Doctor B was giving up his private practice as he was becoming the head hospitter.
Highly upset, I phoned Doctor B's office to yell at the staff. They assured me that he was still seeing his private patients. In fact, I was all set up to see him on the 22nd of the month. Ha! Take that, hospilian program!
I was almost giddy for a few days until I spoke to the director of said program, who was convinced that Doctor B would stop seeing private patients on the 15th. She even got him on the phone to confirm this. In fact, Doctor B said I should have gotten a letter at the end of the previous month explaining that he would no longer be my doctor.
Highly upset again, I phoned Doctor B's office to yell at the staff. No, they had not mailed any letters explaining that Doctor B would no longer be my doctor. They didn't have to. No law required them to do so. What they were actually doing, which Doctor B supposedly knew all about, was simply phoning the patients a week or so before their appointments and informing them then.
"Oh, so you were planning to wait until about a week before the 22nd, which would be the 15th, to tell me that I had to move my appointment up to the 15th if I wanted to see Doctor B one last time?"
"Um, yes?"
"Well, the director tells me that Doctor B told her that I needed to call you to reschedule sooner than that."
"Oh. Well, um, sir, the computer is down today so we can't change any schedules."
A few calls to the director and the doctor and I was all set up with a new appointment on the 14th. It seems that Doctor B had no idea that the letters hadn't been mailed and was adamant about seeing me one more time before shoving me off on another doctor.
The 14th came and I was looking forward to see my doctor. All was well. Then the phone rang.
"Mister Check? Doctor B had an emergency and won't be able to see you today. Can we reschedule you for next week?"
"Isn't tomorrow the last day Doctor B is seeing patients?"
"Oh, then would you like to reschedule your appointment for tomorrow morning?"
"I have to work that day, but since the office is within my patrol area, I suppose I can just drop by."
"Oh, he won't be at that office. He'll be at the other office on the other side of town that you've never heard of before."
"Tell you what, I'll call back in a day or two and reschedule for next week."
Well, that was that. I'd never see Doctor B again.
I turned the corner and walked right in Doctor B. "Hi, Troy! See you in about a half hour, right?"
"Um, Doctor B? I thought you had an emergency or died or something and couldn't see me today?"
"Heavens, no! Just drop by the office. We'll squeeze you in."
They squeezed. Doctor B gave me some final instructions, then recommended I follow up with Doctor C. He was the one who'd be taking over the office. Doctor B had worked with Doctor C for some time and had every confidence in him. I made an appointment to see Doctor C.
I had yet another doctor, but I was assured that I could keep this one for a while.
On the way back to the office, one of the staff stopped me. "Hi, Troy. Have you met the new hospanishist?"
It was Doctor C.
