The View from the Corner

"Last Day of Jury Duty? Ha!" by Troy H. Cheek on May 12, 2008

Back around the start of the year, I got called in for jury selection. This is a misnomer as no actual juries were selected at the time. Instead, the hundred or so of us who weren't smart enough to lie our way out of jury duty were assigned to panels and given a list of dates on which certain panels were to appear. These dates covered roughly the first half of the year. We were told that a bunch of new people would be brought in around the middle of the year to handle the dates covering roughly the last half of the year.

Actually, what I remember most about the entire process was that the judge sounded just like Minnie Pearl.

After giving us a list of dates and making it absolutely clear that it was vitally important that we don't miss a single date, we were then instructed to call the night before each date to see if we actually needed to show up or not. It turned out that I didn't need to show up for most of them. One time that I was told that I was needed, I and half a dozen others showed up to find an empty courtroom and a county employee berating us for not calling the night before to check.

However, for the last date on the list, we were told that we actually needed to report to the Great Hall of Justice. I showed up, went to the courtroom where the jury selection had taken place, remembering that they'd told me that I'd have to report back to that exact room when I came in for actual jury duty, and was promptly directed to another room. It had been long enough that I didn't remember any of my fellow jurors, nor they me, so we got to know one another while prisoners were filed past us in handcuffs and leg shackles.

Then we were ordered to forget everyone we'd just seen filed past us. Apparently, they were supposed to have been moved through the empty courtroom down the hall so as not to poison potential jury pools.

After sitting around for a few subjective hours, a list of names were called, and I got to move from my pew to a very nice seat in the jury box. I knew from a few years back that I might not be able to keep it, as once the actual selection process was started, we'd be shuffled back and forth like teenagers at a makeout party. Still, for the moment, I was comfortable.

Then the judge started talking.

Apparently, Client X, who had been clamoring for a day in court for the last three years or so, had failed to show up for said day in court. The consensus in the jury box was that Client X had probably assumed said day in court had been cancelled or postponed or whatever had happened to all the other days in court we were supposed show up for throughout the year.

"Too bad," the judge moaned. "This would have been the first trial actually conducted in the new Hall of Justice."

"First trial?" sputtered one of the attorneys. "Did she just say this was the first trial to actually make it to this point since they finished the building last year?"

I and a couple of others tried to answer that, but by then the judge was talking again. Since judges get those cute little clip-on microphones and ceiling-mount speakers, they get the final word.

I still managed to tune most of it out. Something about filling out papers and coming back one more time for a special case to be tried. Well, I'd already done my civic responsibility by showing up (or at least being ready to show up) for all those dates throughout the year, but I figured once more wouldn't hurt. The papers finally made it down to me and I looked through them.

"Excuse me," I said to the clerk handing out the papers. "This first page looks like a new list of dates covering the latter half of this year."

"Yes," she said. "Those are the rest of your court dates for the year. Be sure to call the night before to see if you're needed."

"I've already reported for all the dates I was given at the start of the year."

"And these are the ones for the rest of the year."

I took a deep breath. "At the start of the year, when we were given a list of dates, today being the very last one of them, we were told that these would be all the dates we'd be responsible for, and that a new group of people would be brought in towards the middle of the year to handle court dates during the last half of the year."

"Young man, whoever told you that was mistaken."

"Well, it's been a few months, but I'm almost certain that whoever told me that looked an awful lot like you."

As my girlfriend says, there's a reason people don't like me. Luckily, I hadn't gone straight to the judge with my complaint. Someone else did. He got a nice lecture on civic responsibility and how it was an honor to serve on a jury and how the past half year didn't count because he didn't have to actually report for any of those dates and some other stuff that I tuned out even with the overhead speakers.

The real fun will be tomorrow when I have to explain to my boss that not only is my jury duty not over for the rest of the year, but I may need some time off in the near future. You see, while most trials around here are resolved in just one day, the upcoming special case is a special case. I may be secluded for up to two weeks. Or more.

This is like saving up to 50% or more on a sale item. It can mean any number at all. I got in trouble at a meeting once for trying to force the presenter to give me a straight answer. My new prescription drug coverage plan keeps my co-pay down to under $60 or more.

So, assuming I was picked for jury duty on that special case, when would it start and how long could I expect to be secluded or sequestered or whatever? Not liking the answers I was getting from the one clerk, I sought out another.