SFSTORY: HMS Golden Lance - Cast of Characters

Below you will find some information about the characters in the HMS Golden Lance serial. Be warned that some of this information may give away plot points.

Codename: Time Agent 357 Real Name: Classified Origin: Classified First Apprearance: Classic SFSTORY circa Feb 1988 Creator: Troy H. Cheek (The Cowboy) Description: Standing roughly six feet tall, 357 is your typical, or even stereotypical, leading man quality good looking space hero. 357 has a full head of dark hair, graying slightly at the temples, which he keeps cut short. His well-tanned body is muscular without being overly so, well-fed looking without being fat, which makes his utilitarian jumpsuit look like some kind of a uniform. His cool gray eyes are both friendly and menacing. He wears a worn but comfortable captain's hat on his head at a rakish angle. His combination of worldly wisdom and still-youthful good looks made him irresistable to women of all ages. In short, 357 actually looks like what every middle-aged male being in any galaxy who buys the local equivalent of a sports car and tries to date female beings half his age only imagines that he looks like. History: Born of a race of near-immortal beings who tend to live for hundreds of thousands of years until they die of boredom or stupidity, 357 is actually a genetic throwback who is only expected to live a mere thousand years or so. He spent many years as a Temporal Security Officer in his home altiverse before joining the Interstellar Time Police and later becoming a free-roaming Time Agent. His only goal in life is to retire. He'd spent the last 150 subjective years stuck in an anomaly with Omegas prior getting dragged into the current story line. Status: Active in The HMS Golden Lance

Codename: Omegas Real Name: Unknown, may not apply Origin: Unknown, assumed to be eternal immortal being First Apprearance: Classic SFSTORY circa Mar 1987 Creator: Unknown Description: Standing roughly seven feet tall, Omegas looms over most other characters. His untamed mane of dark hair cascades down over his broad shoulders. His dark skin would make the average mahogany desk turn green with envy. He has huge bulging muscles. He typically wears a garish tropical paradise of the Hawaiian shirt and stylish sandals, though he has also been known to wear a white leather jacket and cobalt bluejeans. He is always seen wearing sunglasses of varying designs which cover eyes with faintly glow with unholy power. History - A very nearly all-powerful, almost omnipotent being of unknown origin, Omegas has served the forces of Good, Evil, and (mostly) himself. This god-like alien, or alien-like god, could very well set himself up as supreme ruler of all of Creation, if only he could avoid getting himself into stupid situations that result in his powers being drained. Like, for instance, getting stuck in an anomaly with Time Agent 357 for 150 years. Status: Active in The HMS Golden Lance

Doctor Bing Von Spleen - The Galaxy's foremost Spamological Engineer (because he personally killed the other threemost), Spleen invented the Automatic Beet Peeler and Sub-Atomic Re-Integrator (or ABPSAR). Doctor Spleen was once a professor at a respected university, where he enjoyed sex, beer, recreational drugs, and having a good time irresponsibly, proving that he was actually a college student trapped in a professor's body.

Ralph - Known as the Giant Space Weasel of Anthrax V, Ralph is actually a friendly, easy-going weaseloid from Leibowitz IV and an accomplished ukulele player in his own right. He would much rather return to his home in Netherspace and enjoy the company of his 500 weaseloid wives, but realizes that somebody has to be the "everyman" character that the reader can relate to.

Diana Dark - This sweet, innocent girl from Chicago (or, at least, as sweet and innocent as any girl from Chicago can be) was transported into SFSTORY by an explosion caused by the interaction of Cheez-Whiz and beer, though the police have attributed her disappearance to a bizarre Cruisinart accident. Like all girls from Chicago, she can field strip, rebuild, lock, load, and fire with deadly accuracy any firearm known to man. Partner to Time Agent 386.